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This is a guest post from my favourite foodie friend and fellow poler, Ryan. His cooking is always IMMENSE, so I hope you enjoy this recipe! 

I’ve done that ‘Good Life’ thing that middle aged people do and started growing vegetables.

Right now, I have rhubarb coming out of my ears. Not a problem though – you can never have too much rhubarb, right?

So, originally, this was going to be a recipe for ‘healthy rhubarb crumble’. But after picking loads of rhubarb from the bottom of the garden, I went into the garage and spotted my distilling kit.

Several hours later and I’m now the proud owner of 2 litres of damn fine rhubarb vodka.

I thought about sharing my “vitamin packed” vodka recipe on here. But as a healthy alternative to what? Moonshine??

So, you’re having a granola recipe instead.

Why is it “pay day” granola? That’s because I’m a Yorkshire man and firmly believe that everything should be reasonably priced unless it’s a rare treat. And this granola is one of those treats.

This recipe is packed with ‘super foods’ and if you’ve ever bought ‘super foods’, you’ll know they come at a premium. So this recipe is a little heavy on the pocket, but it’s totally worth it for the health (and taste) benefits.

Nutrition for pole dancers

You can serve this in so many different ways, but some of my favourites are:

  • On its own with milk
  • With blueberries and sliced strawberries
  • With yogurt and honey
  • Sprinkled on cakes as a healthy topping. You know, to cancel out the cake 😉


12 smallish servings

Difficulty level:



  • 4 table spoons coco nibs
  • 2 large oranges for 1 teaspoon of orange zest and 0.6 cups of orange juice
  • 0.5 Cups coconut sugar
  • 3 cups porridge oats
  • 1.25 cups buckwheat groats
  • 0.5 cups almonds
  • 0.5 cups Pistachios. make sure you get “un”shelled ones, I made that mistake once and this then turned into the world’s longest recipe 🙁
  • 0.25 cups flaxseed powder
  • 0.25 cups lucma powder
  • 0.5 cups coconut sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 0.5 cups dried cranberries
  • 0.5 cups dried goji berries
  • 0.5 cups melted coconut oil
  • 2 table spoons golden syrup (or maple syrup for our American counterparts)

How to put it together

  1. Get a big bowl and mix together the salt, orange juice, zest, flax seed powder and half the coconut sugar. Make sure you mix this well and try beat the lumps out. At this point you’ll have a terrible looking gloop, but don’t worry it gets better just push on through the gloop stage.
  2. While your gloop sits and binds for ten minutes, grab another bowl and mix together the oats, lucma powder, the rest of the coconut sugar, buckweat, nuts, fruit and coco nibs.
  3. Switch the oven on and pre heat to Gas 5, 170C, 350F
  4. Line a large baking sheet with backing paper or tin foil.
  5. Get a pan and melt your coconut oil. Take it off the heat and mix the golden syrup in.
  6. Add the golden syrup mixture to your gloop and beat until mixed.
  7. Now pour the wet mixture into your dry mixture and combine thoroughly.
  8. Pour this crazy mess onto your baking sheet. Then get a spoon and really press it down hard as that will make those lovely crunchy granola clusters.
  9. Bake for 10 minutes.
  10. Take it out of the oven and turn it all over without breaking up the chunks.
  11. Put it back in the oven for at least another 10 minutes, or until golden brown.
  12. Take out of the oven and leave to cool for half an hour at least.
  13. Now store this in an air tight container and it will last forever.


If you want to know more about eating and training for pole, you’ll love my book – Strength and Conditioning for Pole – over 460 pages of pole geeking! Anatomy, conditioning exercises, nutrition – you name it, we are gonna nerd out on it! Available now in hard copy or as a downloadable ebook.

Content on this website is provided for educational/informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should consult your Doctor or Health Care Professional before doing any exercises or fitness programs to determine if they are right for your needs.


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